Few weeks ago I was teaching dance to my athletes, requesting them to give their best, to hear the music and to interpret it as they were feeling like …
After several attempts, the result was still the same! Mummies would have been more expressive!

So I questioned them:

 

P: “Why don’t you let yourselves go? You are in a protected environment that you perfectly know !!”

A: Their response: “we are ashamed!”

P: “ashamed of what ???”

A: “what other people may think!”

P: “Who are those? Here there’s only me!? What if there was someone, what would change? Why are you so much influenced by the judgment of others?”

 

No answer but after a while they realize they were losing the opportunity to have !!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

I wanted to share with you this episode because I want to introduce a very important issue : the fear of judgment! Actually often the “mother” of all the fears!

-> 3 steps to reduce the fear of being judged by others in sports (VIDEO)

 

The fear of judgment arises primarily from our continuing trend, or better habit, of judging the outside world according to what is our representation of it, our “map”.

We can call it “mirror effect”.

Our mind, rationally and unconsciously, judges constantly. Statistics estimate that every 5 seconds we use to judge a certain situation or a person who we don’t even know !
It is said that whenever we point a finger to someone, we are getting other 4 ones on us !!! This happen just because others represent exactly a mirror of us!
It seems paradoxical, but whenever we judge someone(s), often we do that because that person(s) make resonate to us something belonging to us!

_____________________________________________________________________

I’ll give you a personal example:

In past I used to get bothered by “snobby” people able to get a lot more than what they actually worth! Once I started working on myself, I started learning to ask myself… why do these people bother me? I understood that their ability to be able to introduce their-selves properly, to “be good self-sellers”, to give the best value to what they used to do …well, those features were completely missing to me! thought that I used to consider a too “hard” job to work on it, it was easier to judge those people badly rather than take them as an example, by staying in my place, still, brooding!
Today I am more aware of this mind mechanism and I’m still working on it… I am learning to volorize myself and to think that it is a good and right thing to do! 

_________________________________________________________________

 

I’ll give you a hint, try to make an ” conscience check-up” and ask yourself:

 

-> What exactly use to bother you?
-> What kind of person or situation?

 

The point is that You never know enough about someone or something to allow you to judge.
God knows how many times I got frustrated by hearing the opinions of others on me, and how many times I changed my actions in order to protect myself from these judgments !!
How many times, as in the example of my athletes, we do not feel free to be or to do something just because we are afraid of being judged by others?

In sport, if you’re stuck with fear of the judgment of others, you risk to miss something essential for your growth : fun!!!

This worth ether in sports, in case you have to do with your public, a jury or your team-mates, and in all aspects of our lives, work, school … all aspects !!

So try to free yourself from judgment fear as soon as possible!!!

But how to start?
The good news is that there are practical techniques with are very effective and that I myself am committed to follow!

Let’s start to follow these 3 single steps I named M-Q-T:

1-  MEDITATE: take 10 minutes by yourself, stay silent and get rid from the conscious and unconscious temptation to judge! I know it seems almost impossible to speak without judging, and it seems to be even harder in our own inner voice … but let’s try.. this is the right way!

2- QUESTION YOURSELF: every time that “something” (which can be a person or a situation in your life as an athlete, student, coach and / or professional) is dusturbing you, instead of pointing your finger to that “something “or” someone “, question yourself :

  •       What is it communicating to me?

  •      What’s wrong with me?

  •      How is it mirroring me?

 

I know it is difficult because we are always very proud and jealous of our behaviors simply because we are expressions of our habits, of what make us secure !! but even if it can hurt, this is the right way to grow and get better!

 

3 –  THANKS -GIVE : Approach with gratitude and bless that “something” that bothers you!

Yup !! you are reading right !! It may seem unnatural at first … but this way! through the “gratitude” you will let go all the anger, negative emotions and the annoying feelings that you can leave that “something” … at the end you will realize that you are just acting for yourself in order to feel better!

Once you learn to understand what that person or that situation really reflects in you, rather than just judge it, you will realize that you have only to thank it, because it has taught you something that you would have never find out!

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­________________________________________________________________________________

 

Let the smile of the world shine bright against your fears !!!

 

Sign up to Newsletter and you will get my Visualization as GIFT !